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Tale 1: Old Man vs. Testers

     Near the middle of my shift, an old man walks into the store from the out door and stops by my register. He quickly flashes me an empty package for a split-second, them says, "Dyougotanytesters?" Confused, I ask him what he wanted. "Isay, dyou gotany testers?"

"Testors," I ask, guessing that he wants model paint, as we've been selling quite a few models for Christmas. The blister card also looked similar to that of the model paint.

"Yeahyeah."

"Down in the toy aisle."

A few minutes later, the man comes back, angry. "There'snotestersthere! Iwanttestersfrchrissmaslights!"

"Oh. Well they would be in the seasonal aisle."

"Wellwhydintyousaythat!? Ishowedyoudepackage! Ifiggerdtheydbethere! "

"Well, I figured you meant paint, and you barely even showed the package. Anyway, the seasonal aisle is right at the entrance."

"Noitissint! Yerregistersareattheentrance!"

"That's only because you came in from the exit, sir."

Staring at me dumbfounded, the man just left, sans testers. Yay for senility!

Tale 2: I Want That Thing. Y’know, the One I Said I Didn’t Want

     Working at the register with the majority of the cigarettes, an old man comes up to me and asks for two packs of Pall Mall Menthol Lights 100s, which come in a light green box. The revolving cigarette display is facing him with the side that has the Pall Malls. In the shelf are the red-boxed filters, the blue lights, and the light green menthols. We both look to see if they're there, and find that they're not. I tell him to hold on a second while I get his cigarettes from register 1, which has whatever few types of cigarettes that mine doesn't have. I come back with the cigarettes, and ask him if they are what he wants. He agrees, and pays for them, leaving me to think nothing more of it.

     About an hour later, the man comes back to my register, throwing the cigarettes onto the counter while yelling, "DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A BLUE BOX TO YOU!? I ASKED FOR THE PALL MALL LIGHTS!" I tell him that he asked for the Menthol Light 100s, and remind him that he looked at the cigarette display and that I even asked him if those were the kind that he wanted. He just yells at me telling me that I was a liar and that I exchange the cigarettes for him. I do so, and without even realizing that the ones I just gave him were cheaper, he stormed out of the store, screwing himself out of a dollar or so from the exchange.

Tale 3: Cardinal Rules of Being a Customer

    The List has moved.

     Our software for our registers always keeps track of how much money in cash is in our drawer at a given time. Once we reach $500 in cash, we are supposed to phone it in to our boss as a "Code-1," at which time our boss will come over, and take all bills $20 and up out of our drawer. Until this is done, we can't scan anything until we hit the Enter button before every customer, creating great fun during a large drove of customers. Anyway, when I started, I was usually the first one to reach Code-1; sometimes reaching two a night. One night, my boss made a comment to a co-worker who was on register 2, the main register, while picking up my money. He noticed that I always call in my Code-1 first, thus I make the most business. Therefore, my co-worker must not be making her register presentable or helpful enough (the fact that she spends more time talking to coworkers than helping customers is a main part of this).

     Well, she took this personally, and over the course of the next week, she tried to get a code-1 before me. Myself, I don't really care, as the pick-up is just to minimize losses in the event that a robbery would occur. It doesn't get us a bonus or anything. Well, one Sunday, she got hers about halfway through the day. She was excited and started rubbing it in my face, laughing at me, saying that the boss wouldn't think as high as me. I just simply told her that I've hade a code-1 for about an hour now, and that I just forgot to ring it in. She just looked shocked. So now, my boss just thinks that I'm a better employee. Not true. I'm just an idiot-magnet. Wait, did this tale even have a point?

Tale 5: Winona Barbie

     One Wednesday night, a woman and her granddaughter came to my register. I rang up their items, coming to three sets of Barbie clothes. They each rang up at $5. Seeing this, the two flew into a rage. They picked up the packages and shoved them in my face, pointing at the sticker on them that said they were 33 cents each. The only thing is, the stickers were red and white, like a nearby Acme's price stickers, while ours are all neon green (our sale stickers are yellow and red). You could even see the neon stickers under the Acme tags. I pointed this out, and she said that I was accusing her of being a thief. I denied it, and got my boss for assistance. He ended up giving them the sticker price...