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Tale 6: Math is fun!

     One day, an elderly couple came in and bought some things. They asked if they needed their Golden Buckeye card to get the senior discount on their store brand medicine. I told them that they didn't need it, as long as they looked old enough. Realizing what I said, I apologized, even though they were...err...ancient. To get revenge, they began to give me an onslaught of math questions to determine their age and other various things...

Tale 7: CUSTOMER FROM HELL

         Tonight, I had one of the most annoying customers to date. She came up with her things and I started scanning them. I came to two jars of peanut butter. Both the same size, same brand, and same kind. Just one difference; one had a price sticker for $2.39, while the other had a sticker for $1.98. She demanded that she paid the two different prices, despite the fact that they both rang up for $2.39. The wrong price happened to be on the one jar, which sometimes happens if the stock people forget to change the price on the price gun. Well, I told her that she would have to pay $2.39 for both, but she kept demanding she pay cheaper for the one, since she was always told that "you should charge the sticker price, no matter what." I kept debating until I finally got my boss. Again, he let her have the cheap price. Arggh, he's too nice.

     After this, I rang up her Listerine. Surprised by the price, she told me to take it off while she gets a smaller size. I call my boss again so I can take the item off (sometimes a manager key is required. It just happened to be needed this time). I take it off, and take the bottle to the restock basket at the other end of the row of registers. The woman comes back with the bottle, and I ring it up. She then decides that she wants the first bottle instead. So I take it off (no manager key this time), and head off to the return basket to get the first bottle.

     I then ring up a wreath in a box for her. I tell her that it won't fit in a bag. She refuses to believe me, and tells me to put it in a paper bag. I tell her that it won't fit in that either. Again, she thinks I'm lying, so I have to actually show her that it won't fit. Seeing this, she tells me to get a larger bag. I tell her that we don't have any larger bags. Greatly disappointed that I can't fit something into a space smaller than it, she finally pays what she owes and storms off.  Ugh.

Tale 8: ME NO READ!

     A customer comes to my register with a basket full of stuff. I ring it all up until I get to a pack of those Energizer batteries specially made for energy-sucking stuff. He sees the high price, and yells at me saying that the sign at the endcap said that they were on sale. Doubting this, as they weren't on sale in our flyer, I ask him to show me the sign. We go, and he shows me the sign.

"Well here's the problem," I said. "The sign isn't for these batteries. It's for the normal Duracell batteries. You wanted the Energizer Max batteries."

"But the sign says…"

"Yes, but those are for a different brand.

"But the sign is near the batteries that I wanted!"

"That's because this is where ALL the batteries are, not just the Duracells."

He yells, "WELL THEN THESE AREN'T WHAT I WANTED," and throws the batteries on the counter and storms out the store without the rest of his stuff...

Tale 9: Family Fun!

     One Sunday, an African-American family came in after church, bearing an uncanny resemblance to Chef's parents from South Park. Their middle-aged son comes to my register, and buys some candy bars. He goes out the inner exit, and then goes in the inner entrance to meet up with his parents, when it would have been easier just to walk back from my register.  A few minutes later, the son and his dad put some candy bars on my counter, and I begin scanning them. When I ring up a 45 cent bar, the son tells me that they are 3 for 99 cents. I tell him that that was for the first two bars. He tells me to take it off while he gets a different bar (We have an endcap with some 33 cent candy bars, and some 45 cent bars. They are clearly marked which is which). He gets another 33 cent bar, and I ring some more up, getting to another 45 cent bar. He tells me to take it off while he gets another. This happens a few more times.

     During this process, the cashier across from me is ringing up the mother. The mother starts laughing loudly, then, I kid you not, rips the loudest fart I have ever heard in my life. She then loudly proclaims, "Oowee! That one's a stinker!" I try to decide whether to laugh, or be disgusted... After the candy business, the father, mother, and her stink come to my register. They ask where the Spongebob Squarepants candy tins are. I point to the end of my counter... They pick up three, and I ring them up. They decide that they don't want to pay for three, and tell me to take one off. I comply, and they decide that it's still too much. I take off another. Hey, guess what! Still too much, they decide to get another candy bar instead. They return with another 45 cent bar. Yes, I take it off, and replace it with a 33 cent bar. After that, they finally left. The fog of death, however, still remained...

Tale 10: Classic example of the Manager Void

     During a night shift, an old woman comes to my lane with a cart full of stuff. Nothing out of the ordinary. I ring up all her purchases, which amount to about eight or so bags. Oddly, she said nothing at all and just stared at me the entire time. Before bringing up the total, I put her bags into the cart. The total came up as a little over $100. When I turned to tell her the total, she was gone. Yet her cart was still there. Weird.  Just weird.