Main Page


Update
Archives

Moai Arts

Thoughts & Essays

Adventures in Retail

Transformers

Other Crap

Links




E-mail

Tale 16: Farts, Film, and Cigarettes

     This is three stories too short to merit their own tales.

     This is from one of my co-workers. She was in the magazine aisle, doing reshops. This fat hick guy in an all too small shirt (his gut was hanging a half foot out of his shirt) and his mom are standing around. He then rips off a big smelly fart. She quickly glances at the guy, and then goes back to work. The guy then tells his mom that, "Hey ma, I think she heard me." My co-worker then proceeds quickly out of the aisle, trying to avoid the stench.

     This Sunday, a lady comes up and asks for her film. I look to see if it's there, and it's not. She then asks why not. I ask if it was one hour developing, or overnight (our one-hour photo machine was down, so that might have been it). She says overnight, and I ask her when she dropped it off. She says that she dropped it off Saturday before five. I tell her that Fuji only picks up film around noon, and that hers was probably picked up today. She then yells at me and asks why it's called overnight developing, then. Another cashier (the one from the above story), explains to her that it's called overnight developing because Fuji does indeed develop it overnight, and that people think that it means the whole process is done in one day. The lady then yells at her and says that we should point it out. The cashier then points to the sign that indeed points out how the process is handled. The lady then storms of huffily, telling us that she'll never get her film developed here again. Too bad most overnight photos are done like that...

     The previous Saturday, a teenager shows up, and asks for a carton of cigarettes. I ask him for his I.D. He then tells me that he doesn't have it on him, but he's sure that one of the other cashiers knows him. I tell him that I've never seen him in here before. He then goes on to say that it must be because I'm new. I kindly tell him that I've been here since a week after Halloween. He leaves in a huff.

Tale 17: Coupon Limits Don't Apply to Me! I'm Special!

     During an excruciatingly long 8-hour shift, a guy comes up and wants to buy some cigarettes. He wants three packs of Salem Lights. I grab the last pack in the store that has a 40 cent-off coupon, and two packs without the coupon. I ring them up, and use the coupon. The guy then starts yelling at me, asking why he only gets 40 cents off and not a $1.20. I tell him because there's only one coupon left, since the promotion has ended. He says, "Well you gotta look at my situation. I'm tired of getting fucked over, so why don't you use the coupon for all the cigarettes."

     I tell him, "well, if I did that, the store would be getting screwed over, and I could get in trouble, since the coupon says 'limit 1 pack per coupon'." He starts getting really huffy, telling me that I'm wrong, and that we should stop selling cigarettes with coupons if there's only one left, and that the promotion is misleading and all this other crap. He finally decides to pay and leave.

Tale 18: Crazy Card Lady!

     During the same shift from hell, an elderly woman comes up with a card and some chocolate. I ring up her stuff, and give her the total. She sees that the card rang up as $2.09, and starts yelling at me, saying that our cards are discounted, and there's no way that it would be that much. I show her that the card is discounted from the MSRP, which was $2.79. She then tells me that there's a sign in the back, saying that the cards are all discounted to 99 cents. I tell her that the sign was referring to the cards that come in bundles. She says that she was going to go back in the back to find the sign and prove me wrong.

     She leaves, and the line behind her is getting huffy.  Five minutes later, she finally comes back and politely says, "See, the sign says that it should be $2.09."  She changed her story; how convenient. I tell her that it rang up as $2.09, like I told her it was supposed to. She then asks me what the problem was, then. I remind her that she said that it should have been 99 cents. She refuses that she ever said that. I ask her why she went to the back, then. She hurries up, pays, and leaves.  Ahh, senility.

Tale 19: Oh, Bitch Bitch Bitch...

     Early this week, I show up at work and find out that someone called off, leaving only two people to run registers. Also, it's another candy sale week (some candy bars are 4 for a dollar with a coupon. The ones that are on sale are clearly marked. Everyone grabs the ones that ARE NOT on sale). Joy. Anyway, it's really busy, and a lady comes into my line with candy bars. I ring them up, and they're not the ones that are on sale. She gets angry, and goes to get the right ones. And she's taking forever. So another lady and her kid go up to my register. The kid keeps trying to scan her Spongebob Fatass drink, and I keep pushing it away. I tell the lady that it'll be just a second, since the previous lady is getting her stuff.

     Bad move.

     She flips out and yells at me, telling me that if I want  her to go to another line, I should just say so, and how she's in a big hurry and all this crap. I tell her again that it'll be just a second, and she says, "Well I just don't have time for this shit." So I say fine, and tell her that I'll call for a manager void so I can ring her stuff up. I call, and she says, "damn it, just don't even bother. I'll go to another line...FUCK, now the other register has a line. SHIT!" My boss comes up and voids the other lady's order out.

     I ring up her stuff, including two milks, one Reiter, the other store-brand. She has a rain check to get the Reiter milk for 99 cents. I override the Reiter price, and tell her the total. She flips out again, asking me, "why the hell did you only change one price!? The rain check says I can get TWO milks for that price!" I show her that one of her milks was store-brand, and she flips out again saying that I should just give her the same price. I tell her that I'll take off the store-brand milk and ring up another Reiter milk for the rain-check price, and she can go back and get another Reiter milk.  She pays and yells at me, "why the fuck does this shit ALWAYS HAPPEN WHEN I'M IN A GODDAMNED HURRY!" She storms off to get her milk, nearly dragging her kid with her. She leaves, and I politely say, "Have a nice day!"

     Then the other lady comes back and tells me that she'll just take the candy bars that I rang up before...

Tale 20: Wait, Wait...You Need MONEY to Pay For Stuff?

     The same night, still busy, our regular jobless High-School dropout shows up to buy his weekly beer and cigarettes. I ring up his case of beer, and his generic-brand of cigarettes. He tries to pay with his debit card, and there's not enough cash for the $6.18 order (why have a debit card if you don't have money in your account?). I take the cigarettes off for him, and he successfully pays for the beer with the card.  Thinking that something might have been wrong with his card, he has me ring up the cigarettes again and he tries paying with the card. Again, there's not enough money.  So he digs around for several minutes trying to get enough change to but the cigarettes with. He comes up with 83 cents. I take that off his total, and he tries to pay the rest with his debit card. He uses up what's left in his account, and goes home with his beer and smokes.

...