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Tale 21: Stores run out of stuff!? What!?

     Whee, another example of people who can't read. This time, half-gallon Reiter milk is on sale for 99-cents. Our brand is still $1.37. It's the middle of the week, and the sale is nearly over. Anyway, this lady and her middle-aged son come up with their groceries, including two half-gallons of our store-brand milk. I ring up her milk, and a box of Kleenex. She yells at me, saying that the Kleenex were part of her son's order. And you see, I'm supposed to know this when everything is together in one pile and they don't say anything beforehand. So I take the Kleenex off, and give her the total. She starts saying that the price is wrong, and that there's a sign saying that all three brands of milk are 99-cents (despite us selling only two brands of milk).

     I call a stock person over to check out the sign. After a little bit, he returns, telling us that only the Reiter milk is on sale. The son proceeds to take their two milks back, and get some Reiter milk. I call for a manager to void out the current sale. He does, and I continue to wait for the son to get back. A large line is now forming, and ten minutes have now passed. Let me repeat:  he is taking TEN MINUTES TO GET MILK. He returns, sans milk. It turns out that we're out of Reiter-brand milk. As I'm ringing up their stuff, they yell at me, asking "why the hell do you put an ad out with the sale, if you don't even have the damn milk?" I politely remind them that we, like every store on earth, run out of things that are on sale. That and the next shipment hasn't arrived yet. I ask them if they want a rain-check for the milk at the sale-price, but they tell me to forget about it, and tell me that we could get in trouble for printing false advertising.

Tale 22:  I've had a credit card for years, and I have no idea how the hell it works!

     A customer comes up with his stuff, and I ring it up. He gets his card out, and I ask him whether he's paying by credit or by debit. He stares blankly at me, and finally asks what the difference is. I told him that paying by debit takes it out of his savings account, with a 25-cent fee from the bank, while credit allows him to take the money directly out of his checking account, and that he has to sign his name on a slip. He again stares at me blankly. He then tells me that he's had the card for years, but never used it at a store before.

     He then tells me to decide for him. I tell him credit, and he says to choose debit instead, because he doesn't want to sign anything (then why did you ask me to choose for you). I ask him if he wants any money back, and he is surprised that he can (oh my god), get money from his bank account that way.  He decides he doesn't want any money back (...) I tell him to slide his card, and he slides it every which way, before he finally gets it right. He then asks why the machine says "Enter PIN Number." I tell him that it needs the PIN number to access his account, like an ATM machine. Bewildered, he enters the number, and it goes through. He then leaves to tell his magical debit card story to the masses.

Tale 23: DO YOU HAVE ANY DIET RITE! LET ME YELL!

     Today, I've met the real-life version of Loud Howard, from the short-lived Dilbert cartoon (for those of you who don't know, Loud Howard yelled EVERY word he said). He comes up to my register and asks, "DO YOU HAVE ANY ADS?" which grabs everyone who's up front's attention. I hand him an ad, and he wanders off. A little bit later, he asks, "DO YOU GUYS KNOW IF DIET RITE IS ON SALE? I CAN'T FIND IT ANYWHERE! OH, AND IS DIET A&W ROOT BEER ON SALE? I SEE REGULAR A&W ON SALE!" I look through the ad, and tell him that yes; Diet Rite and the diet root beer should be on sale. I tell him that I'll call a stock person up front to help him find the Diet Rite. No sooner than ten seconds after I call stock on the PA, he says, "WELL I GUESS NO ONE IS COMING." I tell him to hold on, and that stock will be there shortly.

     A STOCK GUY...oops, sorry. A stock guy comes up to the guy, and asks what he needs. He replies, "YOU GUYS SHOULD BE FASTER! I NEED TO FIND THE DIET RITE BECAUSE IT'S ON SALE, BUT I CAN'T FIND IT ANYWHERE!" They leave to find the cruddy soda. A few minutes later, he comes back and announces to the world, "YOU GUYS DON'T HAVE ANY DIET RITE! YOU GUYS HAVE MY A&W, BUT IF I CAN'T GET DIET RITE, I DON'T WANT ANYTHING. I SHOULD JUST GO HOME! YOU GUYS SHOULD SAY IN YOU ADS THAT YOU DON'T HAVE DIET RITE." Loud Howard goes home, leaving everyone with bleeding ears.

Tale 24: Hoorj for corporate decisions!

     Ahh, corporate decisions. They make no sense at all, yes? Well, the high-ups decided to issue out a new layout for the stores. First, we moved many of the aisles a whole three inches or so. Why? For more room (...). Next, we ripped the cosmetics counter up, and put it no more than two feet from where it was, and eliminated an aisle there. After that, we chopped the back aisles into two, creating another "middle aisle," and giving us more endcaps. The higher-ups say that it’s so we can have more room to put stuff. However, because we used the shelves that were removed to make the endcaps, we have as much room as we did before. Oh, let me also note that corporate was supposed to send us shelf movers, but they never did, so stock had to move everything by hand.

     Next...next are the registers. I'll just show you how they were:

     This is how they are now:

     Notice the cart that Dylan drew... See, everyone puts their cart IN the lane, so people can't leave my register. We had signs telling people to put the carts away. We took them down since NO ONE DID. Register four is more deserted than ever. It also just plain sucks. There are no cigarettes there whatsoever. Register 3 is now the "busier than hell" register, while no one goes to Register 2, the former "busier than hell." Fewer cigarettes are held at 2 & 3 now that there's a smaller display, meaning, we can't store as many, and we have to run to register 1 pretty much EVERY time someone wants something other than Marlboro or Basics. They say they moved the registers so someone (register 2) would be facing the door if someone stole something and the alarm went off. And you know what? The day after the move, someone stole something, AND NOONE SAW THE PERSON SINCE THEY WENT OUT THE ENTRANCE DOORS!

     All in all, it sucks. A lot. No one likes it, save ONE customer. And no, it's not this guy:

Tale 25: Angry Weiner Lady

     It’s Sunday. An unusually busy Sunday. Our Eckrich hot dogs are on sale for $1.99 compared to the regular $2.65. Well, several times during the day, said hot dogs have not been ringing up the sale price. I Item corrected them and that was that. Well, it's getting late, and this fat lady, her mom, and her kid get in my line. She yells at her kid, who is heading toward the front of the cart, to get in front of the cart. I ring up her stuff; no biggie. Then I ring up her mom's stuff. I get to the hot dogs and ring them up. The second they ring up, the lady yells at me, saying "Those hot dogs are on sale! Those are the wrong price! It says so on the package! And there's a sign! And..." I tell her that I'll fix it. Then she freaks out, saying, "you better fix it, because she's not gonna pay two-something for damn hot dogs!"  My boss, who is in a nearby aisle glances at the lady, then to me and gives me this freaked-out look. I fix it, and tell her. Then she says, "well thanks a whole lot," in a loud voice. Bitch.