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Tale 36: Me Fail English? That's Unpossible!
During an particularly annoying shift, I was busy putting away reshops. While in the food aisles, an old woman stops me and asks,"Do you know where the folders are?" I tell her that they're in the school aisle, and she heads off. A little bit later, she finds and stops me again. She says that there aren't any folders in that aisle. Skeptical, I lead her to the school aisle and point out the folders to her. She then turns to me and says, "those aren't the folders I want. I wanted folders coffee." Gritting my teeth, I ask, "You mean Folger's coffee?" She says yes. I tell her that I'll show here where it is and head off for the right aisle. I get there, and she's not behind me. In fact, she's still in the school aisle. I motion for her to follow me. She get's halfway there, then stops to tell me to just get her the can. I get one and bring it to her. She says that it's not the right one; it's too small. Mumbling to myself, I bring her the bigger can. Putting stuff away near the registers, I see her check out. And you know what? She didn't want the damn coffee anyway. .....
Tale 37: OMG STUPID NOOB! BANNED!
The holidays are coming up, so we hired us some new stock people to help with the large amounts of stuff being sent to the store. And these have to be the most brain-dead people I've met. Examples? Well, one of them must be illiterate. While organizing a shipment and sending stuff out onto the sales floor, we have a list of things to keep on pallets in the stock room (candy, food, toys, and cleaning). Another stockperson and I explained the list to the two new people. Well, one picks up a box of pistachios and asks us what they are. Dumbfounded, we tell him to figure it out. He says he really doesn't know. We tell him what they are and where to put them. He grabs a box that says in large red letters, "CALENDARS," and asks us what they are. Now we just want to smack him upside the head, but we refrain. He then grabs a large box of detergent and asks us which pallet it goes on. Now then, it's not food or a toy, so where do you think it would go?
On the subject of pallets, these two idiots can't stack worth a damn. When it came time to move the candy pallet, well, it was surprising that it was still standing despite how much everything was leaning. We tried to move it carefully, but the guy moving it was nearly buried in candy. So we had to take EVERYTHING off the pallet and restack it again. Mind you, this is an hour before closing and we still have the other half of the truck to do as well as regulars (sweeping, filling eggs, trash, etc). Why do we still have the other half of the truck to do? Because the two new people would dissappear now and again for about fifteen-minute periods.
Well, the illiterate one isn't coming back until he can get his work permit, so let's talk about the other idiot. He also can't tell the difference between such things as food and toys. How does he sweep the floor you say? Well, he sweeped a whole four aisles in the span of a half hour. Now, you should be able to do the whold damn store in a half hour. Also, while our key machine isn't the greatest in the world, it took this guy the better part of an hour to cut ONE key. It takes five minutes at the absolute most for everyone else. And of course, these people don't seem to want to learn, since they seem to get pissed off when we point out what they're doing wrong.
"HAY GUYS! DOES THIS COLD MEDICINE GO ON THE CANDY PALLET!?"
3-29-04 - Fortunately, one of the two has shaped up and is competant now. The other one...eh, not so much.
Tale 38: One-Hour Photo
A couple of months ago, I finally learned how to do the one-hour photo processing. However, I also learned of a whole other bit of stupidity that comes to the store. I especially love the people who come in fifteen minutes after dropping their film off to ask if it's done yet (Granted, no, it doesn't take a full hour to do a roll of film most of the time, but still, it's called that so we have some leeway if problems arise or if other film is there). I also love the people who just stand and watch you develop their film, burning a hole into the back of your head with a stare. Then of course there's the people who drop off seven rolls of film and expect it all to be done in an hour.
We also get the occasional blank roll of film dropped off, which is always fun when you return it to them (free of charge, of course). They always say that we exposed the film and that we should give them their other prints free. I love pointing out that they're wrong, since they must not know how cameras work. When light hits undeveloped film, it exposes it, turning it dark, whereas unexposed film is light. After showing them a comparison, they either shut up or get angrier. Meh. Our photo machine is shut down at 9 so we can refill the chemicals and all that. We have a sign pointing this out right in front of the photo lab. Yet, people still try to make us develop their film after the machine is shut down. "There's still an hour left before you close! These are very important pictures that I need tonight!" It's nine; you've had ALL NIGHT to drop these off somewhere to be developed. And even if I did choose to develop them, they wouldn't be done until after closing since I'd have to run the morning tests and before I could get to the film. Of course, that is all just an evil lie perpetrated by the store just so they can't get their pictures that night. /rant So photo. Yeah. Fun.
Tale 39: Time restraints? Wha?
Woo! Another One-Hour Photo story. I expect more of these to pop up as time goes on. Anyway, during a particularly busy night for photo (about 35 rolls that day), a lady dropped off two rolls of film to be developed. She also requested the coupon for a free 8"x10". She said that she'd be back in two hours to pick them up. That was at 6:00. Okay, it's almost 9 o'clock, which means Photo will be shut down so I can refill the chemicals and shut down the machine. A young woman shows up and wants to drop off film. I tell her that Photo closes at 9. At this point, she screams out, "But it's only two till nine!" I tell her that it would be very unlikely that I could finish a roll between doing chemicals and everything else.
"Well my mom said it only takes, like, a half-hour to do some film." I tell her that I could try to do a roll, but I wasn't making any guarantees. I then offer to keep them overnight so they would be done first-thing in the morning, but she considers sending them overnight. She looks it over, then gets annoyed. She then tells me, "C'mon, just do them." She then holds up a plastic bag. "I only have five rolls of film!" I tell her that there is no conceivable way for me to develop five rolls of film within an hour whether I refill the chemicals or not. She then storms off, saying "well I can see that you just don't want to do it, so I won't make you." Outside, she yells at a stockperson about me.
I go do chemicals, then return around 9:30 to find the lady who dropped off the two rolls of film. I get the film for her, and she constantly reminds me about her coupons. I tell her that they're in the envelopes. She rips the envelopes open and tells me that she wants to use them now. I kindly point out to her that she can't, seeing as how Photo is closed and that the store will close in a half-an-hour. She asks, "So I can't use them tonight? Why not?" I tell her why again. She then asks, "Well can I drive out to one of your other stores? Are they still open? This will work at your other stores won't it?" I tell her that the coupons will work, but I don't know if our other stores would be able to develop it. She then becomes annoyed and tells me how her daughter came in a little while ago and how the manager yelled at her saying that we wouldn't develop her film because Photo was "supposedly" closed. I tell her the same thing that I told her daughter. Then she storms off, muttering. Christ, don't these people realize that we don't control the laws of time and space? Or do they think that we do, but we only use our powers to inconvenienve them?
Tale 40: Return of The Crazy Card Lady!
The old woman from Tale 18 came to my line the other day, clutching a receipt and an ad from our store. She starts complaining that someone from the day before charged her too much for her cards. She kept saying that they wre two for a dollar, and that the person from yesterday rang them both up at a dollar each. She kept going on and on about how I should refund her money. She then tells me to follow her so she can show me a sign that says that the cards are 2-for-1. First off, she wanders around aimlessly in the card section, looking for the mystery sign. I lead her over to the cheap cards, thinking that it might be there.
She then points to a sign and says, "that's it! That's the sign!" I look at the sign. It says "Was $1.49 Now $.99!" I point this out to her. She then says, "yeah, that;d be two for a dollar." I explain to her that this isn't the case. She then gets a befuddled look in her eye and says, "well that sign is misleading! You should be more clear with that sign. I bet there's a lot of other people who think that those cards are two-for-one!" She then crumples up the receipt and walks away. As an aside, the last time I saw her was also around Easter. Let's hope that she's just an annual event.
