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MONTHS IN THE MAKING!

The Fabled Story Of The World's Worst Cashier!

This Is...

     Yes, I'm breaking policy here. I'm naming names, and damn it, I don't care. This is the story of a cashier that has plagued my store for months. The one everyone hates, but cannot get rid of. Like all great stories, it has a simple beginning. In a period where a lot of cashiers quit, we hired and had to train replacements. About four or five were in the lot. This particular one, would annoy us all. Britney here was being trained by the other (good) Britney. She seemed to do a decent job while training. However, once she had to work on her own, it took a turn for the worst.

     See, she left her register. A lot. A whole lot. She would be at her register one second, and would disappear while you blinked your eyes. She'd wander the store, bugging stock people, and generally doing nothing. And she refused to work. She used to invite friends over to her register where she would just talk to them, ignoring the other customers. If someone would come into her line, she'd duck behind her counter, pretending to work on something. She'd tell the customers that she was busy and to go to another lane. At which point, she'd stand back up and make faces at the customers behind their back. And often, she'd just pretend to be working. While doing reshops, we spotted her standing in THE SAME SPOT for forty-five minutes, talking with one of the stock guys.

     And let's talk about one of the most annoying things she does. She'll go to other cashier's registers, pressing random buttons, logging us out, ringing stuff up and other things. This is what sent my hate for her into overdrive. On a particularly busy night, near closing, she ran up to my register and started punching the paper feed buttons, jamming my register to holy hell. She then runs back to her register. A long line is forming while I'm trying to untangle the sordid mess of paper. And if I've told you anything, customers hate to wait in line anything longer than four seconds. I get it done, and clear out the (angry) shoppers. Then she comes back to my register and starts doing it again. Already filled with rage, I pull her arm away and yell at her, "why don't you stop fucking with my register and go back to your own you stupid bitch! How about doing some god-damned work for a change!" She casually makes the loser "L" with her hand and walks back.

     Mark, the older stock guy with no sense of reality comes up to see what all the hubbub was. She starts whining about how mean I am and that she feels that she works too hard. Mark then comes up to me and tells me to lay off. He then goes off into a tangent about how "it's just a part-time job. She doesn't have to work hard if she doesn't feel like it." I tell him that a job is still a job, and that if you're at work, god damn it, you had better work. He then replies, "Well I've been doing this for forty years, and I've always been doing it this way."

     Not long after this, the rebellion began. I started talking to the other workers about the idiot-girl, and discovered that they shared the same hate. Then it started. We continually complained to Chris, the assistant manager about Brittany. He then told us that he was the one who interviewed her for the job. He told Kim, the head boss, not to hire her, but he did so anyway. He said that he won't fire her; that Kim would have to do it. Fix his own mistakes and such.

     On a particularly busy night, idiot-girl kept leaving her register. So much so, that she didn't even make half as much as everyone else did in their drawers that night. On the way out to head home, I spotted Kim. I told him about her continual screw-ups, and he simply replied, "well, we'll have to fix that." A few days later, she was chewed out by Kim. The following days, she kept saying, "well I don't even need this job. Daddy will get me whatever I want." And yes, those were her exact words. All was good for those few days. She didn't leave her register once. The week after, though, it went back to the way it was.

     The complaining continued. Kim kept saying that he'd fix it. It never got any better. Then, one night, sure-fire firing material happened. She kept trying on a pair of flip-flops we were selling. She asked one of the cashiers to ring them up for her. She refused, and told her to go back to cosmetics to buy it, like all the other employees. Then, her friend comes in. She gives the flip-flops to her friend, saying that she bought them. When she left, the cashier asked Brittany if she really did buy them. Her answer? "No." A couple of nights after that, we told our security guy, and the lesser-boss, Jack. They told us to tell Kim. We did. Nothing happened, save cutting of her hours.

     Brittany then kept telling us that she was going on vacation for two weeks, and how if the bosses wouldn't give her the time off, she'd quit right then and there. She threatened Chris, who just replied, "Oh. No. Please. Don't. Really." She then requested them off to Kim, who gave her the time off. And for two weeks, all was well. Overall IQ went up by several points, and cashiers were singing songs of happiness (Okay, not really. Hell, we didn't even notice she was gone). Then she returned, again spouting how she should quit, and generally bugging us all.

     After having severely cut hours (10 a week), and her requesting many days off, the problem seemed to be waning. Still an annoyance, but we seemed to forget about her. There were several rumors of her quitting, but they were found to be false when she actually showed up to work. However, the great day of harmony was soon upon us. One night, she kept complaining about how she didn't want to be at work. Another cashier kept goading her into quitting. She said that she should, but that she was too lazy to walk back to the boss to tell him. The cashier picked up the phone and said that he was going to call the boss right then and there for her. He did, and gave her the phone. She quit right there, and everyone was happy. So it ended, finally. A bit anti-climactic, eh?