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Tale 1: Yay for drunks!

     On Christmas Eve, a drunk guy came into my line, wanting to return a six-pack of beer. The only problem is that two of the cans were missing. I told him that he had to go back to the courtesy desk for returns. He starts yelling about how he shouldn't have to walk all the way back to the back of the store. So he decides to leave, but not before yelling at another customer for no reason at all. He finally makes it to the parking lot, screaming and throwing the remaining cans at cars in the lot. Needless to say, he was arrested shortly thereafter.

Tale 2: A tale of conthievery.

     A couple of nights ago, a lady came into my line. I checked out her stuff and she paid. Nothing unusual. Then she walks out the door, and the sensor alarm goes off. The two other cashiers and I ask her to stop, but she keeps walking out the door. I decide to go out after her, telling her to stop. She tells me to hold on a second, then walks to her car. She sees me walking towards her, when she hops in, starts the car and peels out of the parking lot (and through a red light). Great. Two stock guys and my boss come up to find out what happened. I tell them everything I saw (no license number, unfortunately). Another stock guy tells us that he was helping the woman earlier. He said that she got a call on her cell phone and started to act nervous. When he turned back around after looking at something for a second, she was gone. Too bad she didn't realize we have security cameras. Heh.

Tale 3: Cashiers Are Always Wrong. ESPECIALLY When They Tell The Truth

     I thought of a quite humorous story from the week before Christmas. A woman came through my line, and among her items was a wrapped package of Christmas cards. As I scanned them, she leaned over my counter, yelling about how the sign in front of them said they were 75% off. I explained to her that they were in fact, supposed to be $5 and some change, as the MSRP was $20, and that they had already been marked down. She then argued her point further that the sign said 75% off, so she shouldn't have to pay $5. I calmly explained it again, recieving a request to speak with the manager. I called the manager to my register, and as I began explaining the situation to him, she interjected, raving about her quarrel. He explained it to her in the same way, that they had already been marked down, and the list price was $20. At this point she said "oh, ok, thank you." I suppose the same sentence doesn't mean the same thing when coming from a cashier as opposed to a manager.

Tale 4: The Obese, And The Mental (And Actual) Images that Accompany Them

     A couple came through my line a few weeks ago, being rather...close I would say (groping, fondling etc). I'm not judgemental about such things, but I believe that you should take care of yourself somewhat. These two happened to be rather obese, 300 - 350 pounds, so their public display was less than attractive. Among the list of their purchases were chips, dip, ice cream, pepsi, and condoms. That's right, CONDOMS. Mental pictures galore! Yay! Needless to say, I didnt't eat anything on my break.

     Another time, a man came through my line; he was tall, and was about 280 pounds. He wore a shirt that was a little too short for him, revealing the bottom of his stomach. As I rang up his items and gave him his total, he handed me a 20 dollar bill. As I reached for it, beyond his hand, from the corner of my eye, I noticed that his zipper was in fact down, and he was wearing tighty wighty underwear, which was quite revealing, leaving extremely little to the imagination. I ignored it, taking the money. I contemplated telling him, but as I was about to speak, he turned and strethced, flashing me his ass crack. Having been shown those two images, I decided not to tell him.

Tale 5: More Wacky Elderly!

     An elderly woman came through my line at about 9:55 pm, five minutes until closing. She bought three items, two small childrens activity books, and leftover valentine's candy which was marked clearance. Her total came to $1.88. After paying and recieving her change, she remained standing at my register, effectively barring the last woman in the store from being rung out. The elderly woman stood there for several moments, reviewing her reciept, until I asked her to please step aside. She gave me a dirty look, then complied reluctantly. After ringing up the next and final customer, I looked to see the elderly woman still there. She shoved the receipt in my face, demanding me to explain why her bill was so high. Yes, you heard right. I was in such shock that all I could reply with was "excuse me?". She then went on ranting about the fact that I charged her tax, even though she'd bought candy which was a food item and shouldn't have tax. After explaining to her that the activity books were not a food item and had tax on it, she then complied, responding, "oh, I see. That's why my bill was so high." She then folded her recipt into her purse, and after readying herself, a process which took approximately 3 mintues, she left the store. Why do the crazy ones always come to my line? Ed note: Because they come to everyone's lines.